Winter 2023

A ren’t you nervous?” No, I wasn’t and I must’ve answered that question a dozen times. Not worried, freaking out, or terrified that my husband, Scott, was embarking, alone, on a 165-mile hike of the Tahoe Rim Trail in honor of his 60th birthday. Not scared that my highly competent guy would be eaten by a bear, or slip and fall into a raging river. I was proud—but also perplexed by how I was reacting, with my babbling brook of emotions in regard to him making the trek. My daughter had just moved to New York, my husband was about to conquer the world, and I was stuck alone, literally and in my head. Scott trained hard for months, meaning we spent less time together. I watched what few extra pounds he had on his torso melt away after his marathon practice hikes. I woke up alone in hotel rooms after he’d snuck out a t sunrise to get in the miles before it was too hot. I rode solo in the golf cart as he walked the course. I missed him. I’d watch him with envy a s he’d consume protein shakes then lace up his hiking boots. My tone became curt, answers short. “Be right back,” he’d say. “Have fun,” I’d reply with a half-scowl. “Are you ok?” he asked, and that answer was also “no” once I was truthful with myself. I choked up and confessed: It wasn’t the fact that I’d be home alone for a week on dogs-and-cat-mom-duty (a job that’s like tending to a group of diaperless toddlers running rampant, but with fur and in need of medication twice a day). I’m independent. I also realize millions of people singularly handle their home lives with ease. It distilled down to the fact that I had no real future goals of my own. In turning the big 6-0, he’d laid out a to-do list, and, one by one, was actually checking it off. Looking at my own horizon, I didn’t see a layout for self improvement or chal- lenge beyond keeping my laundry done.What the heck could I do that was solely geared to enhancing “self?” We drove to Tahoe and I left my man at the trail head. I’d be staying in a hotel, refueling him after his second night, then heading home. I had a whole day and a half to myself.Time to think about what I could do to shake up my existence. But I started with short term goals: finding the perfect waffle. I plopped myself into a booth a t a famous breakfast place, opened my journal to sketch out some intentions, and was promptly served a brown disc that was more like cardboard trampled by cleats. I paid for the uneaten disc and went to another restaurant known for waffles. As I giddily approached the door, a sign greeted me: NOWAFFLESTODAY. I took that as another kind of sign.You can set a goal, but the goal doesn’t have to cooperate. I’d probably change my goals, plans and desires many times before I turned 60 in 2025. Sitting by the grand lake, I watched a group of men, clearly from abroad and near my age, strip down to their small Speedos and dash into the frigid waters. They splashed each other, laughing heartily.“Being here was likely on their goal list,” I thought. “Or maybe we’re all just living in the moment in Tahoe. It’s chilly but beautiful, and we’re lucky to be here!” I could hear that song “It’s the climb…” in the back of my head. Yep. It is the ascent, not necessarily the destination. The next day, I brought Scott his backpack of dehydrated meals, gave him a big hug, and drove home to the pups and cat. It wasn’t so bad. A few days later, I got the call. Scott would finish part of the route next year. Sleeping in a flimsy nylon tent out in the ele- ments doesn’t work for light sleepers, and he’d gotten a total nine hours of shut-eye over four nights. He’d be coming home before he got sick from exhaustion. My pity party over, I was thrilled to see him. I imagined those large men in tiny bathing suits frolicking in the water, and my tough husband being fine with unexpectedly switching course. Finding the perfect waffle was good enough for now. Dina Ruiz is a former news anchor at KSBW TV, past host of “Candid Camera” and has starred on a reality show on the E! Network. She i s a writer, editor and yogini. She resides on the Monterey Peninsula. BEHIND THE SPOTLIGHT D I N A R U I Z Looking at my own horizon, I didn’t see a layout for self improve- ment or challenge beyond keeping my laundry done. “It’s the Climb” 50 C A R M E L M A G A Z I N E • W I N T E R 2 0 2 3 “