Fall 2023

K eeping a secret is more chal- lenging these days. Modern methods make it too easy to inad- vertently blurt out news that’s only meant for a few. Back in “the day,” trustworthy souls only had to resist picking up the phone or whispering the contraband information into a friend’s ear. Now, we’re at the mercy of not spilling the beans via text, social media or group chat. It can be daunting. Especially when age and brain fog become part of the equation. My big mouth can usually remain shut when it counts, but I recently had to pass one of the most important secret-keeping tests in memory. It’d been a long while since I had to zip my lips, and I wasn’t sure if it was a long-lost talent or one I could still muster when my husband and I were entrusted with the secret of a lifetime. I’ve always been pretty good at keeping information to myself when asked, begged or threatened.This time, though, I found it hard to keep the proverbial cat in the bag. The results of our efforts were fantastic, even though I almost blew it more than once. My daughter Morgan, her boyfriend, my husband and I had planned to head to Italy for a short vacation in late summer. After Morgan was accepted to graduate school with an August start date, that plan was scrapped until she goaded me into considering the trip in June. Even I, queen of last minute every- thing (much to my own chagrin), found it impossible. “There’s no way, with less than a month notice, I can pull off an itinerary for four people during one of the busiest seasons in Italy,” I complained.“You can’t even get a ticket to see the ‘David’ stat- ue for six weeks.” I thought my point was made until my daughter’s boyfriend reached out to us privately to say: “If we do go to Italy, I’m going to propose.”With the happy news sink- ing in, I immediately went online and scouted every discount hotel and tourist ticket website known to humankind. United Airlines had just launched a nonstop flight from SFO to Rome. We were going to Italy. My baby, now 26 years old, would soon be engaged to her guy in the most romantic country in the world. Splendido! It was the interminable weeks of waiting for the trip, and then days being together in the land of pasta, wine and romance that scared the heck out of me because we all text, talk or see each other constantly. How would I not slip? My husband and I got permission to share the news with a couple of family members, including my trustworthy dad. But that meant I was now texting and talking with these folks, shar- ing excitement and discussing probable cities for the proposal to take place:Would it be in Rome? MaybeVerona, like Romeo and Juliet? The excitement would sometimes boil over, and I’d compose a text to my daughter, “Your grandfather is so excit- ed, he’s crying!” or “Which city do you guys think would be the most romantic?” Oops. Can’t send that. Erase. Once we actually convened in Italy, I wore a poker face, sometimes wishing I’d been left in the dark.Was I able to not act too giddy or too calm? My daughter, who knows my every mood just by my body language, would surely sense a cover-up. I’d have to give an Academy Award winning per- formance of being normal until her boyfriend told us “it” was actually happening. The big event came earlier in the trip than I’d imagined when we ended up at a lovely spot on Lake Garda.The after- noon sun mingled with the clear water. Verdant gardens sur- rounded a fancy gazebo. Perfect. My future son-in-law made the game-day plans with my husband, explaining where we would sneak to shoot video of the proposal. Morgan spotted my husband immediately as we got to our clandestine spot, but he hollered back at her,“I just came down here to tell you that your mom is running late for dinner!” Crisis averted, we quickly hid behind a bush and muffled our laughter. Minutes later, my daughter had a diamond ring on her finger, the four of us were wiping happy tears, and this mouthy mom was being given props for keeping the biggest secret in years. Dina Ruiz is a former news anchor at KSBW TV, past host of “Candid Camera” and has starred on a reality show on the E! Network. She is a writer, editor and yogini. She resides on the Monterey Peninsula with her daughter, Morgan. BEHIND THE SPOTLIGHT D I N A R U I Z My baby, now 26 years old, would soon be engaged to her guy in the most romantic country in the world. Keeping the Biggest Secret 48 C A R M E L M A G A Z I N E • F A L L 2 0 2 3