Spring-2023

A nd Winifred’s had to forgive me a lot this past winter. While neither wind, rain nor snow keeps the postman from his appointed rounds, our recent deluge often kept me from tak- ing Winnie on our walks. (Though in truth, it is Winnie who drags me for a walk—whether there’s anything I want to sniff or not!) Less Winnie walks led to more office time and cleaning out old files. I was struck by several filled with quotes and stories about dogs. While most were of a serious nature, I was drawn to some of the less profound, but still insight- ful: “If your dog is fat, you’re not get- ting enough exercise.” Truer words were never woofed, howled or growled. And then I received an email from a dear friend who offered this observation:“I’d like to think we all started as dogs and then went astray, cause how else do you explain the human condition?” Wow… An explanation for the human condition that actu- ally makes sense! Thankfully, there are two sides to that human condition coin. Tragic and comic. But we’ll focus on the funny—clearly the “tails” side of the coin. Because it isWinifred’s primal dogginess that makes me smile. And laugh. So, if we all started out as dogs, could that be the source of our sense of humor? Makes me wonder if my discombobulated human condition makesWinnie smile and laugh? As I write this,Winifred watches from her cushy chair to the right of my desk. (Actually my chair, but…) Our eyes lock, ears perk, tail swishes (hers, not mine). At the very least, a lot of my shenanigans must look particu- larly foolish to her. (As they often do to me.) Nothing new.That English wit, Samuel Butler said, “The great pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too.” Amazing what our dogs will do for us that we humans are loath to do for each other. But enough preamble. Here are a few of Winnie’s and my favorite humorous, and painfully truthful, gleanings that reveal a bit of our utterly human and humorous condition regarding our best furry friends. “My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can’t decide whether to ruin our carpets or ruin our lives.” Rita Rudner “Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark vio- lently at nothing right in your ear.” Dave Barry “They [dogs] never talk about themselves but listen to you while you talk about yourself, and keep up an appearance of being interested in the conversation.” Jerome K. Jerome “Despite the occasional bathroom accident, dogs are way neater than men.” Jennifer McGaha And then there is the impenetrable human condition as only Samuel Clemens could nail it to the barn door: “If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.” Mark Twain But while our tangled human condition often leaves me dazed and confused, the following observations are proof that some humans get it perfectly right: “We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It’s the best deal man has ever made.” Judy H.Wright “It came to me that every time I lose a dog they take a piece of my heart with them. And every new dog who comes into my life gifts me with a piece of their heart. If I live long enough, all the components of my heart will be dog, and I will become as generous and loving as they are.” Anonymous A best-selling golf humorist in a previous life, Mark Oman is co- author with Winifred of “Life is Good. I’m a Dog…And You’re Not!—Four-legged Lessons for a Day Well Lived.” Mark and Winnie live in Carmel with their four-legged brother, Winston, and Mark’s two-legged wife, Barbara. Contact Winifred (or Mark) at: mark@markoman.com . DOG TALES M A R K O M A N Amazing what our dogs will do for us that we humans are loath to do for each other. “To Err is Human; to Forgive, Canine.” 48 C A R M E L M A G A Z I N E • S P R I N G 2 0 2 3