Summer 2023

I t’s packed full of demonstrations of unconditional love and the telling of secrets that require implic- it trust. It has many moments of being oh-so-grossly misbehaved— you know, the stuff you’d do at a 12-year-old’s sleepover. It involves laughing so hard you’re hoarse for days. Laughing until you cry. Crying until one of the group makes you laugh again. Side effects include never want- ing to do another load of laundry, put another plate in the dish- washer, or vacuum another floor once you go home. It’s a girls’ trip, and I’m just back from the most epic one of my life. I’m blessed with a group of best friends who know me bet- ter than I know myself. Four of us have been together since our first grade class in Fremont, California, back in 1971. We joined forces with three other girls in middle school and two more were woven into our fabric in the ’80s. After college and starting our careers, from 1991 until the mid-2000s, we didn’t miss a sin- gle trip to Las Vegas every year in March. In fact, my first wedding took place spontaneously during one of those trips. Through marriages, chil- dren, and bigger responsibilities, we outgrew Vegas as its never-ending wildness outgrew us. Tamer and more recent locales have varied from the Napa area to Maui to Scottsdale, Arizona. Every time, no matter how different we think it might be, it’s the same: Make plans. Flake on some or all of the plans. Sit around, talk and laugh. Grow closer than imagined. Like using superglue on a flat, dry, clean surface, our sisterhood becomes more permanently cemented with each passing trip.There may be some alcohol involved, although not nearly as much as in our younger years. Some of us stick to water now. But, when we’re together, it’s like a religious experience where the effects of even water magically morph into being wine-like. With each trip, our itineraries vary greatly. When I’m in charge, the plans amount to, say, one dinner reservation. This time, our host—a former professional event producer—had the reigns as the trip was taking place at her house in Austin, Texas. She sent out a schedule which included several things I’d never tried: First was cruising the Colorado River on a so- called donut boat. I was reluctant, but when our fearless leader brought along a sound system and narrated every activity being done by strangers within a 200-foot radius, I didn’t want it to end. “Great form!” and “You can do it!” resonated loudly from her microphone, only to be outdone by our cackling and the laughter of people on the water who might have wanted to strangle us had they not seen we were just a bunch of moms. A downtown tour on a peddle bar (if you’ve not seen one, look it up and laugh) was a new experience for all of us. We took country line dancing lessons with an instructor so brusque she’d have been unemployable in California.We kept straight faced as she chided her newest victims: “Girl, you look like a sleaze in that short dress! Now quit lifting up your feet! It’s line dancing, not disco!” We went shopping in identical cheap, cropped, blond wigs I’d purchased online.We also found time to design and wear pageant sashes that made fun of our advancing age with slogans such as “Grandmaster Hot Flash” and “Mrs. Roseville Runner-Up.” We crammed those experi- ences and the best barbecue ever into a 72-hour jaunt, and never stopped laughing except during a one-hour midday nap in which, magically, everyone partook. Scientific research proves that being with friends can increase levels of oxytocin, the feel-good hormone. Several published studies show that maintaining friendships can stave off depression and even dementia. So, why not? Why not get that trip you’ve mulled over out of your head and into your real life? It’s not about the amount of money or time spent. In fact, I find three nights to be the sweet spot. You don’t need anything fancy. Sharing nostalgia, reminiscing, making fun of how much the world—and each other—have changed since you were last together, makes the time fly. Plan a little getaway with the right combination of people you love, used to love, think you love, or might come to love, and you won’t regret it. Dina Ruiz is a former news anchor at KSBW TV, past host of “Candid Camera” and has starred on a reality show on the E! Network. She is a writer, editor and yogini. She resides on the Monterey Peninsula with her daughter, Morgan. BEHIND THE SPOTLIGHT D I N A R U I Z Scientific research proves that being with friends can increase levels of oxytocin, the feel-good hormone. Girls’ Trip 50 C A R M E L M A G A Z I N E • S U M M E R 2 0 2 3