Summer 2023

F or those followers of these Dog Tales musings, please note a change in the blurb at the end of this issue’s column.While previously listing my email for those interested in continuing the conversation with Winifred or moi, we also named my wife Barbara and her dog Winston. Sadly, Winston crossed over rainbow bridge five months ago, but as his presence was still deeply felt by Barbara, Winifred and myself, I chose to leave his name in the blurb. Until now. Since Winston’s passing, every day brought Barbara some memory of life withWinston—dreams and conversations with her fur baby in the wee small hours becoming regular occur- rences. Daily she expressed both grief and devout determina- tion that, after 16 years with Winston, she had zero interest in going through such heartbreak with another dog. She was done. “I saved the best for last!” she said. Married 52 years, I knew better than to ques- tion her certitude. So you can imagine how gobs- macked Winifred and I both were when suddenly, after five months, Barbara announced, “I need another dog!” But not just any dog. Barbara knew exactly what she wanted, explaining she was way past potty training and all the rest of that messy puppy stuff. And no females! Too demanding.Winifred was enough. My wife was only interested in a middle-aged, medium-sized, male snuggle-bunny. (Sadly, I no longer met those qualifications in almost every regard.) Within a day of beginning her manhunt Barbara had checked all the SPCAs and independent rescue organizations in Monterey and Santa Cruz counties. Lots of big dogs and little Chihuahua mixes, but no Mr. Middle-Aged-Middle-Sized-Furry- Male-Snuggle-Bunnies. Expanding her outreach to the Bay Area, she found the perfect match at the Oakland SPCA and drove there in commuter traffic only to find that Alfredo had kennel cough and would be on medication for another 10 days. And no, she could not pay for him now and pick him up after the medication had run its course. It was strictly first come, first serve, kennel cough notwithstanding. Not willing to expose Winifred to contagious kennel cough, Barbara continued her search in Fresno, Madera and San Luis Obispo, but no Middle- Aged-Middle-Sized-Furry-Male-Snuggle-Bunnies to be had. In desperation, Barbara revisited the San Francisco SPCA website and found a furry face to stir her heart. But first come, first serve, so Barb left early that morning trusting her new snuggle-bunny would still be there. One look, a lick, and little Molly had found her forever home with Barbara. That’s right, Molly. A 3-year-old, 8-pound Maltese-mix female! Far from the Middle-Aged-Middle-Sized-Furr y-Male-Snuggle-Bunny Barbara had insisted upon.Then again, do not argue the heart when it feels things the mind never thought of. After one day at home racing around the yard with so much playful energy, Barbara had to admit, “Molly will keep me young!” And while Molly’s exuberant personality is exactly what Barbara needed, I can’t say the same for the other woman in my life.At twelve years of age and set in her ways,Winifred has had little interest in joining Molly’s playtime shenanigans. Chasing backyard bunnies and birds is strictly a spectator sport for Winnie who watches the action while catching some rays sprawled on the deck chaise lounge. As for me, what chance do I have against all this wily female energy? I now have to deal with a wild child, Molly; a maturing wild woman,Winifred; and a young again wild wife, Barbara! Or, as that Greek Stoic Epictetus said:“Do not seek to have everything that happens, happen as you wish, but wish for everything to happen as it actually does happen, and your life will be serene.” Barbara put it this way: “With Molly now in her forever home, I am able to accept another dog into my heart. Her cud- dles have brought four-legged happiness and laughter again into my life. And I know my late belovedWinston is happy for me.” A screenwriter and best-selling golf humorist in a previous life, Mark Oman forsook his golf addiction and took up with Winifred, co-author of their screenplay, “Murder, Misfits and Mutts!” Mark and Winnie live in Carmel with four-legged little sister, Molly, and two-legged wife, Barbara. Contact Winifred (or Mark) at: mark@markoman.com. DOG TALES M A R K O M A N One look, a lick, and little Molly had found her forever home with Barbara. “Good Golly Miss Molly!” 52 C A R M E L M A G A Z I N E • S U M M E R 2 0 2 3